Call Me Crazy

Every night I talk to the butterflies in my front yard. They flutter around me and land in the palm of my hand. The tickle of their wings brings a smile to my face, even on the worst days. I count them as friends. You could call me crazy….

I see signs on license plates. I think God sends me messages sometimes, as I pray while driving. I’ve asked Him if he was listening (though I always know He is), and laughed as a car drives by with the license plate HEARDU. I’ve asked if I was ever going to get pregnant, as I wait so impatiently patient, and smiled as I pulled into work and saw a big red truck with the license plate YESSSS. I’ve seen things like this so many times, and I always take pictures to remember. If you ever see a silly blonde snapping pictures of license plates, don’t be alarmed. It’s just me, conversating with God. I asked my husband once if he believed me when I said God spoke to me through tags on a car, and he laughed and said, “Yes, but I wouldn’t go around telling people that.” God, I love this man. So yes, I believe in messages from God in everyday things. You could call me crazy….

Last week, at lunch, in the break room, my coworkers were talking about people’s attitudes, good or bad. I piped in with a comment that I just wished everybody changed color according to their mood. I have a tendency to blurt things out. Everybody laughed, they probably thought I was strange. I was serious. I would love to always know how people felt, and where I stood with them. Blue if you were sad, so I could sympathise, red if you were angry, so I could tread lightly. A nice warm, sunshiny yellow if you were happy, so I could join in your happiness. Green for jealousy, and various colors for pain and illness. It would be absolutely lovely to be aware of people like that. Moods are contagious, good or bad, and I try to always be yellow. You could call me crazy….

I am passionately in love with my husband. Still. I always will be. I love looking at him and snuggling with him. I breathe better when I am resting on his chest in his arms, like all my stress just melts away. He’s better than any drug, and I am totally addicted to him. He’s not perfect, and neither am I. I have issues and he has issues, but we give them over to each other, and it always somehow works out. If I could spend all my time with him I would do it in a heartbeat. All of it. You could call me crazy….

I do everything for those I love. My life is a complicated, rushed, hectic mess. There is never enough time to do everything, and sometimes I take on more than I should, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. The doing makes me happy. When my family is happy, so am I. So I will do do do until the Good Lord doesn’t let me do anymore. You could call me crazy….

The news makes me cry. Sappy commercials make me cry. Criticism stings like a slap in the face. Road rage terrifies me. I’m competitive to a fault. I cry when I’m happy, sad, and mad. My green eyes tear up at least once a day, and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I feel everything deeply, and I express it without inhibition. Some people think I’m odd. You could call me crazy….

I’ve seen angels, and they’ve talked to me. I’ve even hugged two of them. One of them walked into my place of employment, prayed over me, and walked straight out of the door, leaving me speechless. I truly believe in them. I think my daredevil husband has a fleet of them watching over him and that’s why he’s still breathing. You might not believe me. You could call me crazy….

I believe God has made a promise to me, that I would conceive. And as the years tick by, I still hold on to that promise, even in the face of adversity, getting older, and through the naysayers. I hold on to that promise with all my heart. Even if my odds are dwindling, my heart knows God is the waymaker, the answerer of prayers, the ultimate miracle giver. You could call me crazy….

I believe in God’s purpose for me, even if I haven’t figured it out yet, I believe in never growing all the way up, I believe in magic and fairy tales, and I believe in every single word of the Bible. Nothing will take away my light, no negative person or dire circumstance, because I love to sparkle, even on a cloudy day. You could call me crazy….

You could call me crazy, but being crazy in an insane world keeps me grounded. So call me crazy. Laugh at me, if you’d like. Look down on me if you choose to do so. I’ll keep looking up, and I’ll be the one smiling, and at peace as I talk to the butterflies in my front yard. I’ll be the one who’s sunshiny yellow, and happy. And you know what? I love company.

God bless,

Nay Towell

You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven. -Jimmy Hendrix

One person’s craziness is another person’s reality. – Tim Burton

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