Dear Child Of Mine,

Because of you, because of the wait, I am a better person. Your purpose has begun before you even arrive in this world, before you were conceived. I am waiting for you, and the wait has made me strong. Stronger than I ever thought possible.

Years have gone by waiting, and oh my, there have been changes. Many, many changes. The changes began when it started to dawn on me that you weren’t going to be as easy to come by as I had originally planned. In fact, you still aren’t here yet, and being your mother has taught me patience. Thank you for that, my sweet one.

Kiddo, you have taught me about what is and is not worth fighting for. You are a battle worth fighting for. Everyday annoyances are not. Thank you for helping me to learn that.

Because of you I am healthier now than ever before. I take care of myself better than I ever have before, because I suppose I didn’t love myself enough to do it for me. I love you though, so I do it for you, to make a happy, healthy place for you to snuggle up and grow, and so I can be here for you when it’s time for you to meet the world outside my womb.

Dear child of mine, because of you I quit smoking. A habit I struggled with for years, but when I learned it could take away my chances of having you, I chose you. So thank you for that, my love.

Child of mine, I used to drink. Your daddy and I both did. Too much sometimes. Before thoughts of you, this may have been something we wanted to change, but didn’t act upon. After God placed the idea of you in our hearts, we both knew that drinking wouldn’t help us make you, and we knew that we didn’t want to involve alcohol in our relationship with you. So we stopped. Baby of mine, my body is healthier, my mind is clearer, it has been for years, and I thank you for that.

Because of you, I eat better. I avoid as much stress as I can in this crazy world. My love for your dad grows deeper, waiting for you, and together we pray for you, talk about you, and work hard to make ourselves better people, as the day comes closer to your arrival.

Sweetheart, because of you I have made friends with some wonderful women that I would never have known if I hadn’t had to wait for you. A tribe of women warriors that have persevered for children just like you. They have fought their minds and battled their bodies, endured medical treatments, disappointments and loss, all for babies just like you. These women, and their husbands, just like your father and I, have made my wait for you a happier, healthier, less lonely place.

Little love, you have strengthened my bond with your father. Waiting for you together has created a bond that can never be broken. The bond of waiting for something we so desperately want, dreaming of you, sharing our emotions over you, hoping for you, planning for you, naming you, and most of all praying to God for you. We never prayed together as a team before we prayed for you, and now we do. I can’t wait for you to join our team!

Precious baby, because of you we have changed how we think about everything! We don’t take for granted the miracle of life, we cherish special moments, we pray for other couples. Because of you we have learned to be better people, and we will be better parents. Not one moment of your conception, your growing inside me, your birth, your life, will ever be taken for granted. You will be so loved. You are already so loved. I see you in my dreams and kiss your sweet face.

Most importantly, you are the child I have prayed for. Waiting for you has brought me closer to God, closer than I ever imagined possible. God has been there for me throughout this waiting. Guiding, talking, teaching me. He has been there for me through the ups and downs, the tears and the trials, and He has taught me to listen and to trust. I have learned about His timing, and how it is best. The timing for you will be perfect, and you will be the best. All the best things are worth waiting for.

You have changed me, my little miracle to be, and it has all been for the better. Dear child of mine, you have made me a better woman, a better soldier, a better worker, a better wife, a better friend, a better mommy, and a better human. Through you, God has shown me what it means to be humble. To take nothing for granted, to live with love and hope and prayers. How to empathize with the hurts of others better, and how to celebrate sweet victories with others while I wait for you, for my own amazing victory. And, my little one, I will be victorious. Mommy doesn’t give up, mommy will never give up, and I will teach you to do the same. To never, ever give up, even when the odds are stacked against you. You will fight, and you will win, when you fight for what is good, and pure, and true. God will fight for you, and with you, and you will win.

And so, my little angel, your purpose has already begun. You have taught me to love better, to wait better, to fight better, to listen to God better. You have changed me for the better. You have changed me, and you can change the world. Your mommy thanks you for that, and though the world doesn’t know you yet, it waits in anticipation for your arrival. Change it for the better. I already know what you can do with God on your side. You can change anything, you can change everything.

I love you. God bless you little one.

Love always and forever,

Your mommy,

AKA Nay Towell

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. –Psalm 139:13

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; ” –Jeremiah 1:5

For this child I prayed; and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of him – 1 Samuel 1:27

Then he said to them, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.” –Luke 9:48

Wait for the Lord ; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. –
Psalm 27:14

Lord , I wait for you; you will answer, Lord my God. –
Psalm 38:15

Human beings do not readily admit desperation. When they do, the kingdom of heaven draws near.

—Philip Yancey

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4 thoughts on “Dear Child Of Mine,

  1. This is the most beautiful post I have ever read. I ‘know’ you on Instagram (infertilityandafeedingtube) and I’m just reading through some of your older posts – so so many I could have written myself, word for word.
    Thank you so much for being such a huge inspiration to me x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so glad you liked it and your kind words mean the world to me. I ask God to give me the words to say, to maybe help others, myself, and always to glorify him. I am so blessed by Him. God bless you, and I’m praying for you girl. It will happen! XOXOXO

      Like

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