Stop Losing Count

My story is not unheard of, but it is unique, as all of our stories are. We all mentally write a little chapter in our own personal biographies everyday. Sometimes, what we write is similar to the previous day. Other times, what we write is suspenseful, sometimes it is scary, sometimes it is full of joy. The point is, we have a story unfolding every single day, and the words of our lives continue every morning, when we are blessed enough to open our eyes. A new day awaits, and a new adventure begins.

My life has, and continues to be, a life of adventure, and I wake up every morning eager to see what God has in store for me. When I decide to walk (or run – I tend to always be in a hurry) God’s path, an astonishing sense of love and energy overtakes me. I love waking up now, not that I am a morning person, because I most certainly need at least two cups of coffee to jumpstart my fuzzy brain, but because when I started to ask God what He had planned for me everyday, I started to feel a sense of wonder when He showed me.

And show me He does. I look everywhere for signs and answers, and when you begin to look, you begin to see. I now listen for His voice, and when you begin to listen, you begin to hear. I see and hear things (that may sound a little coo-coo but it’s true) that I would have ordinarily missed by being too preoccupied by my own agenda. Look and listen, and you will see and hear. Very simple instructions, but oh so profound.

Then there are times when God surprises me. He loves to do that as well, and I imagine the grin on His glorious face as He watches me discover a message, a word, or a beautiful revelation that I wasn’t even looking for, something meaningful to me that makes me feel an astonished sense of awe. I love those moments. I cherish them.

Yes, my life has, and continues to be, a life of extreme adventure. The difference between my todays and tomorrows from my yesterdays of the past, is that my adventure has shifted from an unorganized, chaotic mess, to one of purpose. Instead of surviving the problems I always seemed to create by worrying, and attempting to fix by my own meager strength my mostly self-generated troubles, I now look to Him for my path of the day.

My footsteps have never felt so sure, or so confident, as they do now that I follow His way. Life has become so much more to me than it was. It is a life of following, but the complete freedom that comes by following is so very refreshing. I no longer lead the way in my own life. God leads, I follow, and the journey is secure, exhilarating, and liberating.

I have always loved God, but loving and following do not always go hand in hand, though they really should. There were times I stepped off the path God had for me, mostly because of my drinking, and my detours made me feel lost and scared. I don’t want these detours anymore, I want direction.

I woke this morning, feeling so blessed. I have been counting again. I love to count, and have an amazing ability with numbers. I am always counting so many things, days, weeks, and years that my husband and I have been trying to conceive, how many days there are left until a special day in the future that I am anticipating, counting how many years it’s been since an old favorite song I just randomly heard on the radio came out (way too many), counting my dollars as I try to save for home projects, possible future fertility treatments, and retirement. This morning though, I mostly started to count my blessings. As I focused on counting them, especially the ones of late, I was startled to discover that one after another would randomly pop into my head, but only after seriously thinking about them. How quickly I forget! To my dismay, I realized how easy it is to tuck something away in a shadowy corner of my mind, and overlook it. Focusing on my current requests to God, one of those requests being a child, I realized how ungrateful I must seem at times. I have almost forgotten some of what I already have!

This has become unacceptable to me. I want to remember, and always feel all of the magic of an answered prayer, I want to be ever thankful, grateful, and humble. I don’t want there to become a collection of answered prayers, blessings, and sweet moments, tucked away in the attic of my mind, collecting dust and cobwebs and being forgotten. I want those memories on display, like shined up trophies in a beautiful display case! Commanding my attention, ever reminding me of how very good my Lord is!

I have this little prayer box, I made it in July of 2016, when my husband and I had already been trying to conceive for quite a while. I wrote this conception prayer down and dated it, along with a few little trinkets that I believe God had sent me, and put it in my prayer box, fully anticipating, with faith, the day I could say this prayer was answered. I am still waiting, and counting the days. I have come to wonder, what will I do with this dated prayer when it is answered? Will I forget how magical it was? The wait? The sweet anticipation of God’s perfect timing? Will these feelings fade away, to collect dust in that shadowy attic of my mind? I have since written down other prayers, and watched as they have been answered in ways that often make my jaw drop. I am so grateful! But I do not ever want to forget, or take for granted, how truly blessed I am. I’m determined not to.

Today, I am making a new box. A blessings box. I will write down dates of answered prayers, and bonus blessings, the things I didn’t even think to pray for, and that God gave me, and they will be put into this box. They will be counted, because I love to count, and they will be cherished. I figure that this could become the start of a tradition in our household, this “count your blessings” box. My plan is to read them on New Years Eve, every year, to remember, and to be thankful. To begin a brand new year with a sense of thankfulness and awe, and a sense of inspiration and purpose.

I will continue to count. I am still counting how many days have stretched out behind us since we asked the Lord for a child, but I am also counting everyday as one day closer to holding that child in our arms. I am still counting all my answered prayers, my many blessings. I will count the dots on a ladybug’s back, the number of people who smile at me today, how many miles I have until my new car, that God amazed me with just last week, has until the gas tank is empty. I will count stars, and dollars, and new followers on my Instagram account. I will count the minutes until quitting time on Fridays, the hours left of my weekends, and days until November 17th, a day I am counting on being amazing, and one that I plan to write about and share with you. I will count away at all these things, but most importantly, I will never again lose count. I will count my many blessings, look up, say thank you, and I will make those blessings count. I will make my life count.

As always, God bless,

Nay Towell

P.S. There are sixty-nine days left, as of today, until November 17th. Sixty-nine days and counting. 😉

Follow me on Instagram, @humblegirl1111, and coming very soon to Facebook.

A side note: Soon I will be adding to my weekly blog. Every other week, there will be a tribute blog to a random hero, and a once monthly blog titled, Miracle Of The Month. My goal is to inspire, but not to bombard those who follow me with a ton of emails notifying them of a new post. This is just to let you know that my four monthly blogs will soon increase to seven. As always, thank you for your support. Your comments and emails are cherished, and counted as blessings.

Does he not see my ways and count my every step?
Job 31:4

He took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.”
Genesis 15:5

You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.
Deuteronomy 28:6

Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding,
Proverbs 3:13

Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you.
Psalm 84:12

Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble.
Proverbs 3:23

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