I thought I would just write today, while watching the rain dance across my bedroom window, just to see what words decide to come out.
I feel all bottled up and ready for everything to pour out. The words, they spill. They bubble up and over, I speak them, I write them, then they wash away anxiety, fear, anger. They cleanse me, because I speak the correct words. Words to comfort, to soothe, to heal.
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
This week has been full of all emotions. I have felt anger, a blood boiling kind of raw anger, the type of anger that makes you shake, plot, and plan. The sort of anger that you should never feed, nor dwell on, because when you do, it erupts. This type of anger is dangerous, and feels good on so many horrible levels. Letting that anger go is difficult, but let it go, I must, because this type of anger only harms me.
“In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
The sinner in me wants to fan the flame of anger, grasp the tail of the adrenaline rush, and beat it into submission. The thing about anger though, is that you can’t ever beat it. Anger beats you.
Worry. This week has been full of worry. I have a loved one who is dealing with a lot of pain, and for some reason or another can not seem to get it properly diagnosed. I have bills. House repairs. People dying. Work worries. It’s all in the mix, and the mix is very heavy right now.
The thing about worry is that it is eerily close to anger, in that you can let it run out of control. It spreads through your mind like wildfire, then infects your whole body. Suddenly you have headaches, or tense shoulders. You may feel nauseated, have a lack of appetite, or eat too much. Like anger, worry needs to be fed. A little morsel goes a long way, and before long, with a little sustenance, worry grows into full scale anxiety. Anxiety? Wow. It sure can rock my world.
In the past I drank it away, for the night, and woke up to more. The heart racing, hands trembling, thoughts totally out of control type of anxiety. And those thoughts? My, my, my. I know I’m not the only one who can dwell on a bad thought, twist it and turn it, and let it ricochet through my brain like a ping pong ball on crack. Before I know it, every single corner of my brain has been contaminated, all by one negative thought.
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that none of this is beneficial to you. How you deal with it is up to you. It’s a choice.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7
When I feel this way, which thankfully is not a common occurrence any more, I tend to make bad decisions. Feeling like I’m at my boiling point tends to cause a few burns. I usually burn myself, but sometimes it spills out on to my loved ones. Burns can scar. The scars of bad choices, angry words, and snap decisions can last a lifetime, and those scars are never very pretty to look at. They are constant reminders of past mistakes.
No more. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever again.
I won’t fuel the fires of doubt, depression and despondency. I won’t cram an already exhausted brain full of unnecessary thought processes. I will take this day, and every day after that, one at a time, and celebrate it.
This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24
One… Two… Three… I breathe. I talk to God. I declare, “This battle is the Lord’s.” That is my mantra, each and every time something negative pops into my head.
And you know what? It works. Words are extremely powerful. The right words can change your life. The best words are God’s words, and there is nothing more powerful than speaking His words over yourself and over others.
In a world where everything can change in the blink of an eye, in a world where there seems to be no stability, isn’t it comforting to know that God never changes, that His words ring true, and they never shift? In a world that can turn against you without a moment’s notice, you have God who is always for you, never against you, no matter what.
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
You want to be better? Great! You can! You’ll never be perfect, but we are loved by a God who loves to see us flourish, and who stands by to catch us when we stumble.
Even if things aren’t going your way right now, trust in the One who knows the final outcome, and can turn everything, good or bad, in your favor. Believe it or not, your current problem can turn into your greatest blessing. I’ve experienced this, lived this, and will hopefully continue to preach this until I am a sweet, adorable, little old lady with silver in my hair, God willing.
So, no matter what is going on, no matter your troubles, whether internal or external, self-caused or unavoidable, find your peace. You can feel peaceful during the storms, if you learn to trust the one who can stop the rain, or use the rain to grow you and make you bloom.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 NIV
Just remember to use the right words, powerful words, and remember to use them well. You have a choice to make, to speak life or death. God created life with His words, and created us the same way. He spoke the words, and saw that it was good. He also gave us the ability to use words, and the ability to speak life. So speak life for all it is worth! Grab a Bible, find your own special verses, and repeat them! Hit your knees and use your own words to pray to the God who can do anything with a word. Pray over yourself, and for others, and pray often. I promise that there is no such thing as too much prayer. Ever.
I pray for you, though I may have never met you. I use my words to speak joy over you, and pray that you learn to toss out the negative and fill yourself with the positive, to speak, live, and drink the words that finally quench your thirst.
For no word from God will ever fail.”
I choose not to worry, and it is a choice. I choose to pray, because it is a choice. I choose life, I choose peace, I choose hope. It is all a choice. I choose the right words, silently and aloud, and I choose to use the power God has given me, through Him and for Him.
What words will you choose? Fear, hate, and anger words? Or Love, joy, and harmony words? The outcome of your life will depend on the very words you choose to speak.
Choose well. Speak well. Be well.
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Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.