Paint Me Happy

The world is never as it seems, and definitely never as it should be. Nature has a brilliantly unpredictable way of turning everything upside down just before righting itself again. Then, we have people who can be confusing and totally misleading. Perhaps it even seems as if the humans who should be on our side are secretly plotting our downfall, and our number one supporters tend to be the people we hardly know, or even strangers? This has been my experience from time to time, that this world can be a little confusing, somewhat crazy, and as

I fall down this

rabbit hole of life,

spinning along

all topsy turvy ,

and head over heels,

tumbling down,

tumbling up,

and even tumbling sideways at times,

I realize that the falling is also a journey. And that sometimes the plunge is just a means to my destiny, and therefore to my ultimate destination.

I have decided to finally begin to enjoy this trip. I have packed my bags with the essentials, and it turns out the essentials are really what most of the world has deemed as non-essential. Go figure.

Life is a trip. People are a trip. I am a trip, and so are you, because here is a newsflash:

NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

I wanted to let you know, because maybe you needed a reminder, and just in case you were maybe beating yourself up today for no good reason at all. Let me save you the time and the energy it requires to be self disparaging and just fill you in on a little secret that has taken me years to learn. Let me home you in on a skill that I still haven’t completely mastered yet. (I am proud however, to be a beautiful work in progress.) I am definitely on the right path to improving upon my own disapproval of myself. I have finally veered off the road to my own personal perdition, never ever to return. I’m on a different road now, one that leads to a peace and contentment that I have always wanted, but I was too busy looking for it in all the wrong places.

Would you care to join me? I enjoy a traveling buddy here and there, it passes the time and expands my horizons. While some of this journey is meant to be solitary, I do believe most of it is meant to be traveled with companions, with sidekicks at varying times, with people to laugh, to cry, to teach, to be taught by, and partners to just be with. To just be.

And so my friend, let us take a little drive together. I invite you to pick me up, a smiling stranger who has her thumb out, her face turned towards the sun, and a spirit of joy that she is willing to share. One by which she fought long and hard for, so that perhaps you wouldn’t have to. Explore with me for a few minutes, the absolute joy of how not desiring, thinking, or being like everybody else, is truly the key to your happiness. Pick me up, and see how this crazy, but harmless little hitchhiker’s dream of happiness might just involve YOU.

For me, happiness began by dismissing the ugly. Contentment started by ignoring the ugly. Peace showed up when I let go of the ugly, and joy arrived when I released the ugly. I slowly and steadily began the worthwhile project of eliminating the ugly from my life. It is a project I continue to this day, and will be a lifelong project for me, because we live in a world full of people who have too much ugly in their hearts. I know, because I was one of them. Ugly shows its ugly self in the face of addiction, in the form of spitefulness, in the guise of hatred, and in the character of maliciousness. I spent a lot of years being pretty ugly. Ugly to myself, and sometimes letting that ugliness seep into the world around me. I’m not proud of how I treated myself, nor of how I sometimes treated others, or of the way I often let others treat me. I’m not proud of the fact that I often associated punishment as suitable treatment for a lack of perfection, and I am not happy that I was obviously delusional enough to think that I could even attempt to attain perfection. Perfection in the way I dressed, spoke, looked, worked, behaved, performed, and interacted with others. How arrogant and almost egotistical it seems, when the reality of the situation is I was a scared and insecure girl who was living in a self-created world under the illusion that I was in control of my life, and therefore of all the things that happened to me.

Sound familiar? I bet for some of you, if you are completely honest, it does. And the truth of the matter is that this is an ugly little world to live in, because the minute that the control fantasy unravels, or you get a chink in your delusional armor of control, the ugly really shows its face. Ugly presents itself in the form of anger, anxiety, addiction, depression and more. It is as if the minute you lose control over something in your world you become out of control as well. Does this make sense? For a long time I compensated a lack of control with alcohol, which is ironic, because when I drank I had absolutely no control. I self medicated with the very thing that brought about a lot of the things I was most afraid of. Finally though, I learned my lesson.

What I learned was that though I loved God, I didn’t completely trust Him. That though I knew deep down I couldn’t earn the blessings and salvation I desired, I still tried. That though I would never find happiness in anyone, including myself unless I learned to be happy and forgive myself as God forgave me, I still withheld God’s mercy from myself and for myself. I was my own worst critic, and because of this I was entirely too lenient with the way I allowed certain people to treat me, condoning the negativity they aimed towards me. It was almost as if I gravitated towards these types of people in an effort to punish myself. When I look back, I now know how ridiculous this was, but I had to accept the love of Jesus to finally break the cycle. It wasn’t enough to just believe in Him, I had to learn that He loved me just the way I was. I had to accept that He chose to give His life for me because I am smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough and lovable enough in His eyes, and those are the only eyes that truly matter. When I started to look at myself through His eyes, I began to love myself, and love others better. His love is a powerful love, and the more I learn to accept it and the more I understand, the more free I become. The love of Jesus is freedom, pure and simple. It is honesty. It is peace. It is hope. It is joy.

Jesus answered, ā€œI am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
John 14:6

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.ā€
John 8:32

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:7

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13

So, if you haven’t already, accept His love today, There is such power in the name of Jesus. Call on your savior to save you, be willing to accept His favor and grace. Then……

Use your superpowers to save the world, one person at a time, starting with yourself, and spreading forward, rippling outward, flowing and circulating for others to see, to notice, and to experience. You do have superpowers, you know. We all do. The only problem is when we don’t recognize our own, or when we covet another’s talents. God makes no mistakes, and He created you just the way you are, the way you walk, talk, look and think, just the way He wanted. So why crave anything else? Why fall for the world’s standards when the one who created all the stars to be different set you apart as well, with your own unique gifts and talents? So use them!

God painted beauty into this world with a Word, and He created a masterpiece on a blank canvas just by speaking it into existence. He created words, life, colors, numbers, melodies, light, everything, and He did it all with love. We were all created in the image of God, male and female, and we were created to worship and love Him, and what better way to do that then by using the very talents and gifts that He gave us, and to use them to love Him, and to love others? We are all painters, and we all hold a God-given paintbrush in our hands, with the capability of creating our own masterpieces to reflect His glory. So go wield your paintbrush with the power God gave you.

If you are good with words, paint a beautiful story across a blank page for others to read, or if you are good with building, paint the world with beautiful architecture to shelter God’s people. If you have an aptitude for music, paint your melodies for all to hear, and if you have the a mind for science or medicine, then paint your healing or inventions for the well being of mankind. Whether it be numbers or repairs, encouragement or inspiration, tools or teaching, dancing or laughter, cooking or cleaning, organizing or leading, listening or counseling, whatever brush God has placed in your hands use it for all it is worth, and use it for loving others. Use it for the glory of God.

Friend, I am telling you that the moment you put down the unrealistic ideas of what you think you should be, or how you should look or feel, and begin to use the gifts God meant for you, and embrace the way he created you, your life will take on a whole new meaning. This is the road to peace, joy and happiness. This is the key to walking the paths of righteousness that the Lord has set before you, and doing it all for His glory. When you stop fighting His plan, and His path, you will create a beautiful journey. You are capable of creating beautiful masterpieces, because you are one.

And friend?

If you ever decide to paint for me, whether with words, or songs, or brushes, could you maybe make me pretty? Please? Would you perhaps paint me pretty? Pretty kind, pretty strong, pretty helpful? How about pretty smart, pretty caring, and pretty capable? Let’s use our brushes to build each other up. Just paint those pretties in my direction, Paint Me Happy, and I promise to do the same for you. I’m willing to bet that you’re pretty amazing, After all, I do know who made you.

God bless you,

Nay Towell

If this inspires you, or you just like what you read, please like and share! You can follow me @humblegirl1111 on Instagram, or my Humblegirl page on Facebook, or you can subscribe to my blog by email. Thanks to all who support me on my journey!

The sun has one kind of splendor, the moon another and the stars another; and star differs from star in splendor.
1 Corinthians 15:41

He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.
Psalms 147:4

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Psalms 19:1

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them.
1 Corinthians 12:4


2 thoughts on “Paint Me Happy

  1. Merry Christmas Nay!šŸ’–
    So touching beautiful words. Your post is true gift for the believers in Jesus. People like pretty things because God created pretty world.
    Glory to Jesus!

    Like

    1. I’ve missed you Vgeorg, and hope you have a Merry Christmas! Thank you for always being so kind, and yes God did create such a beautiful world! Have a blessed day! ā¤ļø

      Like

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